The Misadventures of New Directions
by ArtieAndTinaAbrams
Summary: A multi-chapter fic about the random and hilarious misadventures of the world's favourite glee club. Features all characters in failed situations where things are bound to go wrong. This week: Sue's thoughts before getting "Physical" with ONJ. Journal.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee, much to my chagrin.**

**Okay...so I'm starting a multi-chapter humor story called **_**The Misadventures of New Directions. **_**Each chapter will be a different random situation in which the gleeks find themselves, because with Kurt, Artie, Brittany, Tina, Quinn, Rachel, Puck, Mike, Santana, Matt, Finn, and Mercedes, things are bound to go wrong. Let's begin!**

**This week: Finn can't hit the high B and Rachel IS FREAKING OUT, PEOPLE.**

The Misadventures of New Directions

"Finn Benjamin Hudson!" Rachel screamed at the top of her lungs. "I'm so disappointed in you! I ask you to go and practice all this weekend, and what do you do? You slack off and forget everything I said."

Finn ran his hands through his hair nervously. She really was scary when she was mad. They were currently in the auditorium arguing about his inability to hit a certain note. Why? Frankly, he was at a loss. Rachel was at the piano, pressing the keys in frustration. "I'm sorry, Rach. I tried, I really did. I just can't do it."

Rachel breathed deeply. "Finn. I love you dearly, but sometimes I can't understand why I even put up with you. Your work ethic is severely lacking. You can't even concentrate on one thing for two minutes – two minutes! – without thinking about Call of Duty or whatever it is you boys play these days." She rolled her eyes.

"It's not a big deal that I can't hit the high B! I'll work on it. I just needed some more help."

"Of course, it's a big deal, Finn!" she got up and approached him, standing on her very tippy-toes to get to his freakishly high-up face. "You're the male lead. It's your responsibility, along with mine, the female lead, to take our glee club through Nationals. We _need _to win Nationals, Finn. It will be the final step in proving the validity – no, better yet, _importance_ – of the glee club. Think about it – no more slushie facials, no more name-calling! It's a better future for all of us. And it's in our hands. Now if you can't hit this high B, I don't know how we'll ever make it." Annoyed, she stomped back over to the piano bench.

"Rachel," he sighed. "Rach, you need to accept that not everyone can be as good as you." She pouted. "Now I know you strive for perfection and stuff, but sometimes other people need...I don't know, a break. You put too much pressure on everyone."

She looked down and her voice choked up. "I'm really that bad, aren't I?"

Oh, shit. Finn didn't know how to deal with a crying girl and he was sure Rachel was on that verge right now. "No, no, no," he quickly ran to her side. "Rach, the thing is...I'm your best friend and I want you to have other friends too. I want people to actually, like...like you. You know what I'm saying?"

Rachel looked at him quizzically. "Was that supposed to make me feel better?"

He froze. "Um..."

She frowned and then smiled brightly again. "Well, at least you tried at that."

Finn breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, for a second I thought you were going to..." his voice trailed off and he forgot what he was going to say, like many other things he always forgets.

Rachel laughed. "No, Finn. I was joking. Can't you take a joke?" She made a serious face and he frowned again, utterly confused. "God, Finn, I was kidding."

Finn, dumbfounded, stared at her for a long while before finally speaking again. "What just happened? Are you mad at me? Because if you are, I'm sorry..."

"No, I'm not mad. I mean, I was, but... You know, geez, Finn, do you _ever_ shut up?" Rachel yelled dramatically.

"Will you _ever _kiss me? Because if you do, maybe I _will_ shut up," he mocked.

Rachel smirked and got up, smoothing her sweater. "Maybe later," she said, and whirled around, her short skirt flouncing as she walked by.

Finn smiled. He loved his best friend.

**~~|F&R|Q&P|A&T|K&M|~~**

**Okay! How was it? Should I continue? Or was it horrible? Let me know! Here's a little sneak preview at next chapter's theme:**

_**Next week: Kurt and Tina take Artie on a shopping trip. Of course, this works about as well as anything they do.**_

**Until next time!**

**Love, Artie and Tina Abrams.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Glee.**

**This week: ****Kurt and Tina take Artie on a shopping trip. Of course, this works about as well as anything they do.**

**-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE**

"Please?"

"_No_."

"Why not?"

"_Because_."

"That's not a reason!"

"Shut up."

"Bleh. I'm calling Kurt."

"Tina – Tina, don't you dare!"

"Watch me."

"Okay. Fine. You can take me shopping."

"Yay!"

"But no Kurt."

"Yes Kurt! He's coming with, whether you like it or not."

"No. Deal's off."

"Yes, deal's _on_. If you cancel it, I will _dump you_ and set you up with _Rachel_."

"You wouldn't."

"You're right. I'm not that cruel. But _please_?"

"Aw, no puppy eyes!"

"_Yes, _puppy eyes. If that's what it takes."

"I hate you."

"Love you too."

**-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-**

Kurt threw his arms up in victory. "Tina, my dear! How did you ever manage? I thought I was going to have to stage an intervention."

Tina smiled. "Well, you don't have to. I got him to agree, and all it took was a little threatening and some puppy eyes."

"You deceitful child," he said, and winked. "He must really like you. I would never think that _that _fashion disaster would ever agree to something like this, and here you go and do it with that much ease."

"Well, what can I say? I'm the master."

He pouted. "No. That's me. You can be my apprentice." Tina rolled her eyes. "Anyways," Kurt continued. "We're taking him to the mall this weekend from _eleven in the morning_ till closing time, if that's what it takes. I want to gouge my eyes out just _looking _at him." He shuddered. "I wonder how he ever managed to pick you up wearing those sweater vests."

Tina sighed. "He didn't _pick me up_, we came to a mutual agreement that we wanted to go out. I like him for him, not for his clothes."

"Clearly," Kurt said coldly. "Do you know if Mercedes is coming?"

"I'll check," Tina said, and started typing on her cell phone. _Hey M, Kurt was wondering if u r coming shopping w/ us this weekend. We're getting Artie new clothes._

"There," she snapped her phone shut. "I asked. But Kurt –"

The buzzing of her cell phone cut Tina off. "Hold on," she muttered. She read the text out loud.

"_Nah, can't, I have a geo project due Monday that I need 2 work on. Don't tell K though, he'll kill me for ditching shopping for HW_..." she trailed off. Kurt snorted. He picked up the phone and dialed her number.

"Mercedes? Yeah. Our friend is a dumbass. She read the damn text out loud, and you are _not _doing that project –"

Tina grabbed the phone. "Okay, bye 'Cedes, love you," she yelled frantically, and hung up. Kurt frowned.

"What was that all about?"

Tina smiled. "Look, Kurt, she's doing that project and we're going to let her. 'Kay? Control your impulses. And be nice to Artie this weekend."

He rolled his eyes. "I swear to God, you can be such a pain sometimes."

**-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-**

Artie ran his hands through his hair. "Kurt, I'm not trying on the damn jacket."

"Why not?" Kurt asked. "It would look fantastic on you. I would know. I'm the gay one."

"Yes, you're the gay one, so you're the only one that would wear it."

Tina covered her mouth with her hand and tried to muffle her laughter. She failed.

"What?" Artie looked up at her quizzically. "Don't make fun of me. I don't know what...what _possessed _me to come with you guys today, but you should be thankful I'm here in the first place."

"God. I don't know how I'm going to survive another five hours with you two," Tina sighed.

"You? I'm the one that has to put up with you...stubborn monkeys until we find Artie some decent clothing," Kurt said in his usual sarcastic, dismissive manner. "Anyways, I need a bathroom break. Don't do anything stupid while I'm gone!"

Tina ran after him. "Wait, and Kurt?" He whirled around. "We're in public. Use they guy's washroom this time." Kurt laughed and sauntered away.

She walked back to Artie.

"What do we do now?" he asked.

A slow smile crept onto Tina's face. "Come here, fast. I have an idea."

**-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-**

Tina stormed out of the mall, Kurt's hand and Artie's wheelchair in tow. "Kurt, we're _leaving_. We've been here since eleven, and it's already six."

He frowned. "But the mall doesn't close until –"

"Shut up!" Tina and Artie both screamed at the same time.

Kurt laughed coldly. "Well, aren't you two so cute. Even speaking at the same time." Tina smacked his arm. "Geez. You two are so shy."

"Kurt, you're getting on my nerves," Artie grimaced, and Tina pretended to choke Kurt from behind. They both laughed until he whipped around, annoyed. 

"We didn't even _buy _anything. And we had another four hours of opportunity to do so!"

Artie smirked. "Actually, we did buy _something_," he said, and grabbed the bag that was hanging from his handlebar. He reached in and pulled out a pair of suspenders, waving them in front of Kurt. Tina burst out into hysterical laughter at the horrified look on his face. Kurt closed his eyes to control himself.

"Honest...to...God," he spoke slowly. "_This_," he said, more sharply, "is why I like Mercedes...better than _both of you_!"

**-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-GLEE-**

**Oh, Kurt. I can only imagine him taking Artie shopping. And, let all hell break loose. **

**Thank you all for your support. Here's next week's preview:**

_**This week: Sue's thoughts before getting 'physical' with ONJ.**_

**Until next time! XOXO.**


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